


All of the Stars are Fading Away

by icemakestars



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 11:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4478213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/pseuds/icemakestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loke never wanted to change for a girl. But then he met Lucy, and suddenly he really did.</p><p>But change is hard when your life is vanishing before your eyes... quite literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of the Stars are Fading Away

 

"She's pregnant, apparently." The brunette announced, either not noticing Loke's sigh-turned-cough or choosing to ignore it. They walked hand-in-hand along the lake, her mindless chatter sounding like a siren in the peaceful serenity of noon. 

"Is she?" Loke no longer knew who 'she' referred to, and did not care enough to ask.

"I'm surprised she isn't claiming it to be yours." The women scoffed. What was her name? Maxi or Mindi? Maybe Michelle- no, that was last week. Loke could hardly recall who this brunette with the slim figure and large eyes was, but thought it impolite to ask. They were on a date, after all.

"We were together?" He raised his head at this, curious as to whom this pregnant woman was.

"Yes... you dated Krista for three months." Mindi (he decided to call her that. The name hardly mattered; he doubted that he would eve r see her again, anyway) glared hard from the corner of her eye, but Loke barely noticed. Krista! There was a name he remembered. With her eyes like liquid topaz and the most pillowy bosom Loke had ever encountered, he wasn't about to forget her in a hurry. But as to claims whether or not he was the father of her baby... he highly doubted it. They had never even gotten down to, well- _that_.

Of course, all of this was just a distraction. Like playing a card game or watching a movie, these women served purely to entertain and divert Loke's attention from what really mattered. From the one person he would always remember. 

Lucy.

Loke had spent his entire time on Earth avoiding Celestial Wizards, and then in bounces Lucy . With her revealing tops and long boots, initially he had thought of her as just another air-head. Easy prey. How wrong had he been. 

She was strong and independent, and proved every single fear he had over Celestial Wizards to be completely and irrevocably _wrong_. She had old school manners, no doubt from  a wealthy family . Lucy was probably spoon fed propriety along with her baby food, and Loke struggled to comprehend how someone from such a high class could end up  as a wizard. How many blue bloods could even  _use_  gate keys? He could think of only one.

Layla Heartfilia was famous in the spirit world for being the epitome of what everyone looked for in a master. She was patient, daring and indescribably kind. Loke couldn't recall any mention of her having a child, although he did remember with familiar anguish the news of her death. Once, a very long time ago, Aquarius had been sat in the spirit world, complaining about having to 'Babysit The Brat again'. She was definitely Layla's spirit, so did she mean... she couldn't _possibly_  mean...

Loke stopped in his tracks. His vision blurred, stomach twisting as acid rose in his throat.

"Is everything okay?"

No. Nothing has ever been okay. And now- now-

"Yes, love. I just noticed how beautiful you look in this light. When I realised, I couldn't move from the radiance of you." He lied smoothly, not wanting any more questions about his actual train of thought.

"Oh, Loke, stop!" She giggled, her reaction controlled and sly, as though she had been waiting for a compliment such as that all evening. She was short and quaint and average- everything that Lucy wasn't.

_Lucy_.

Her name was whispered over the spring breeze and ruffled Loke into a sense of guilt. He shook it off and placed his hand around Mindi's waist. He can't feel betrayal over a girl he's hardly spoken to, dammit! A venomous voice in his mind whispered, _But you can feel guilt over what you did to Karen, right? That was another kind of betrayal._ He squeezed his date. Hard. Her skin was cool and came out at  goosebumps  at the mere pads of his fingertips, and Loke immediately wondered what it would feel like if it was Lucy in his arms, not a women whose name he barely remembered.

He had already seen what Lucy looked like first thing in the morning, when her hair was a feathery nest and her eyes were still glazed from sleep. He knew how quick witted she was, and intelligent and _strong_. And when  she _smiled_ \- lip caught between white teeth and eyes alive with joyous wonder- well, even the sun stopped and stared for a moment.

She was like a clear sky in winter; refreshingly beautiful, and something you could never get enough of. Loke didn't think he would ever tire of her, anyway. He craved her, both as a man and as a spirit, and this lusciously carnal desire was new to him. Loke was always being admired, but really did he seriously want a woman. Not like Lucy... never like Lucy.

Instead of getting wrapped up in his feelings for Lucy, Loke wrapped himself in Mindi's bedsheets. He would be dead soon, gone from this world and banished from his own. There was no point in allowing a love that would never last longer than a month. Looking down at his phasing form, Loke wondered if he even had that long.  But Mindi, as average as she appeared, was a helpful distraction. Her soft breasts made the pain in his head nothing but a dull throb, her hips anchored him to the moment and allowed no room for Lucy or Karen between their sheets. 

Loke didn't care what people called him, because his reputation didn't matter. When you knew that death was waiting for you, the opinions of others became nothing more than a mist. Not solid enough to phase you, but you still register it nonetheless. When he made his walk-of-shame the next morning (albeit without the 'shame' part... he had never felt embarrassment in his life, and knew not the hue it would paint on his cheeks) Lucy's judgement felt less like mist, and more like a brick wall. It stopped Loke in his tracks, forced him to acknowledge everything he had fucked so hard to forget. 

He was a spirit, brave and loyal. As a member of Fairy Tail, he fought hard to protect his comrades. But once upon a time, Aries and Virgo and all of the other spirits had come under the list of 'nakama' to him... so when did he stop including them as such? When did how many girls he bedded become more important than his search for atonement?

It was twelve in the afternoon, and he was surrounded by his entire guild, but Loke had never felt more alone in his extremely long life. The one person he could speak to, the only person who would understand, was looking at him as though he was dirt. And despite all of his confidence and pretence, Loke would have to agree.

His guildmark b urned as he removed it from his skin. He felt naked now, bare in ways that were more vulnerable than erotic. Loke could feel that his time was almost up in the dusty  way his brain noticed things, and how his legs felt more like wood than flesh. It wasn't fair to bring his friends into his own mess. They didn't deserve that, not after they were still recovering from Phatom's attacks. He especially couldn't burden Lucy- a good Celestial Wizard- with the sins of Leo the Lion.  Without asking Cana to drink with him. Without challenging  Gray to a fight. Without even allowing his vision to graze Lucy's beauteous form, Loke turned around and walked away, leaving both his guild and the man he used to be behind him. 


End file.
